A Dream So Real

OMG, I had the BEST dream last night!! It felt so real, unlike any dream I ever had before. And it's one dream I wouldn't mind being in forever.

In this dream I was Harley with Gus, but I was still me because we were at my house. But we were GusH because GusH songs were playing, and we recognized them from different parts of our history. So it was weird but very good.

Anyway...moving on... One of my family's usual summer parties was going on, but it wasn't a big party where tables of food & drinks are set up. It was small, not many relatives were there. I think the weather was good, and it was late afternoon. So it was getting darker and darker as the dream went on. The washer toss was set up - a game that was invented by my uncle's friend - with spotlights right off the deck. Tiki torches and candles were lit. We were all outside having dinner. I think it was a BBQ meal - corn, coleslaw and/or macaroni salad, hamburgers, and hot dogs. I think I may have helped cooked or I was just bringing the food out to everyone. But I do remember holding a dish of macaroni n' cheese, which makes sense because that's one of Harley's specialties. So did I make it? Who knows?

Gus was sitting at the head of the table, eating, in the chair farthest from the back door and closest to the steps. He was weaing his sexy black t-shirt and jeans. I think I was sitting next to him with the deck railing behind me. I was wearing a tank top, one that Harley has worn (think that island, investigating Ross's death), and either jeans or capris. My hair might have been in a poneytail. I don't remember eating, but since I was still myself, I probably ate the macaroni n' cheese and coleslaw. I'm a very picky eater, and BBQ food isn't my kind of food, especially burgers and dogs.

As far as what happened it the dream...there wasn't much. But there were the songs playing, and some of them Gus was really unhappy with. In the beinning of the dream and while we were eating, Gus and I were on good terms. There wasn't too much lovey-dovey stuff or anything, though. But then after dinner, when I tried kissing him or getting close to him, he didn't want anything to do with me. He brushed me off. And whenever we passed each other, I'd look at him and he'd sort of glare at me. It's as if I did something wrong, but what? And he stayed around my family, not paying attention to me. I followed him a lot, though.

But I dragged him off the deck away from the house (we have a big yard, and we're set back in the woods), saying, "We need to talk." I said, "Talk to me. What's wrong?" And he told me how some songs that played brought up really bad, recent memories. "Superman" by Lifehouse played when Gus found out "I" cheated on him and he started taking pills again. "Maybe Tomorrow" by Stereophonics played when "we" broke up and he left me. So songs that represent bad times played at the party because they are in the GusH Tunes playlist. He didn't like that I let them play, but I told him I couldn't change the song; I tried, but either it is wasn't the right computer or the computer just wouldn't work. I guess he understood my problem, and I didn't like the songs playing either.

But what's done is done, and I think he let it go. I think he also realized how pointless it was to be angry with me. And besides, there were plenty of good songs playing, like "This Woman Needs" by SheDaisy. So, we made up. I might have kissed his cheek, and we walked back to the deck with an arm around each other. I remember smiling a lot with him and how it felt to touch his shoulder, arm, & back. We shared his chair two ways - me sitting on his lap and sitting next to one another with my legs across his lap. We laughed a lot with my family while still having an arm around each other.

I remember eyeing the washer toss after getting up from the chair. Gus popped up beside me, and I said something about being partners for the game. It might have been "Want to be partners for washer toss?" I think he said something like, "Not yet," because I recall him dragging me off the deck. It seemed like the current game was over, but we were going to sit out the next one. He wanted to take a walk and be alone with me. And I think that's when I woke up, very unfortunately.

Like I said, this is one of the greatest dreams I've ever had because of how real it was. I really remember how it felt to be close to Gus and to touch him and be so in love with him. It all felt so wonderful. I wish it was real. We would be great partners in everything we'd do.

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