Another Split Is To Come

I think this is the most personal blog at this point because of what just happened TODAY.

I still haven't recovered.

Gus overheard Dinah talking to Mallet, and she mentioned the one-nighter between Mallet and Harley. And BAM, my whole world and Gus's whole world are down the drain! Gus was angry throughout the rest of the show; it was really painful. I don't know how he managed to be in the same room as Harley and Mallet.

Let me just say that I knew GusH were getting their vows renewed today and that Gus would find out the truth this week. But I did not expect him to find out BEFORE the vow-renewal. So, I thought that today would be a romantic yet bittersweet show, knowing sadness is around the corner. And I was shocked to see Gus go through the vow-renewal while having the awful truth on his mind.

Now back to the moment Gus found out... You know how angry he was? He was SO angry that he crushed a glass in his bare hands! He so didn't want anything to do with Harley once she showed up. She fixed up his hand, even though he wanted to do it himself. Then there was talk about Phillip and Gus was jealous of seeing Harley with Mallet. He tried getting her alone but couldn't. At this point I wondered how on Earth do they get their vows renewed?! Well, low and behold a minister/priest/whatever-you-call him appeared for Alan and Beth, but they had gone home. So, he was there, the flowers were prepared, and the food was ready. Why not get married again? Harley loved the idea, but of course Gus wasn't so thrilled. I guess he got talked into it 'cause before you know it GusH were wearing the proper attire and standing together in front of the minister.

Gus could barely get through the ceremony. Harley's vows were so beautiful and heartfelt. Gus kinda stumbled through his, bringing up the mistakes of when he was gone months ago. But the ceremony happened, albeit not so romantically as I hoped it would be. Harley was such a happy bride, but Gus was still pained. I still can't understand how/why he went through with re-marrying her; he shouldn't want to be with her or even see her face. I guess he loves her so much and just couldn't ruin the ceremony. Maybe he wasn't sure what to do, so he went along with it. Maybe he wasn't ready to confront Harley and end the happiness. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

What occurred next was unbelievable! I'll admit...that I've always wanted to see a hot, wild GusH sex scene. In fact just recently I was thinking about it and wishing we'd get one some day. But today... Gus's anger fueled everything, and the sex was something I've never seen before. It was completely raw. Gus had to take his anger out somehow. Desire mixed with anger = rawness. And frustration was written all over his face. I wonder what Harley was thinking/feeling since she wasn't full of rage. This sex scene was quite unexpected; I certainly didn't think we'd get one under these cirumstances. Yes, we got raw GusH sex, but Gus was in pain on the inside and Harley was feeling the opposite. So, it seemed pretty brutal.

But the saddest, most heartbreaking thing was the very last scene. Gus went down stairs, started drinking, and popped a pill. With the difficult detox he went through with Harley, it's devestating to see him back on pills. Everything they did went down the drain today. I know he had said he was still struggling, but today he actually downed a pill. That's when I cried the most. I was a wreck through the whole show, but the tears really started pouring during that final scene.

And I'm still not over it. The hurt, anger, and sadness is still inside me. You can see the depression on the outside too. Now don't worry about me. Writing this entry really helps; getting all this out puts me at ease.

But this is only the beginning... Once Gus confronts Harley with what he knows, that's when things will completely explode. For them it'll be anger; for us it'll be tears. Their next split/break-up is upon us. And it won't be pretty.

Now allow me to express some rage. As much as I like Harlet...

WHY DID HARLEY HAVE TO SLEEP WITH MALLET?
SHE'S RUINED EVERYTHING! :(

Sweet Reunion

Wasn't Gus and Harley's reunion SO wonderful?! OMG, it was perfect!

Ok, I know it happened, like, over a month ago. But how can I not write about it? I am a GusHer!

When Harley turned and saw Gus, tears poured out of every GusH fan. Their first moments together were sweet and emotional. They started getting familiar with one another again...until the guard came thru and pointed a gun at them. How very protective of Gus to have Harley behind him; no matter what he's been through, it's always about his girl. Of course GusH beat the guard, proving how physically strong they are together.

I loved that Gus wanted to be alone with Harley, and I loved that Harley brought Gus to their house! Even though it's STILL unfinished, it's a private, romantic place for them. One of the magazines said they'd be nervous with each other, and they were. It wasn't painfully obvious, but you could tell. They had not been together in 3 months, so it was really nice that they took time to just talk...

Harley: "And even though I couldn't be with you physically, even though I couldn't um... touch you, or hear your voice calling me from one of the rooms in this house, your spirit ran through me like blood through my veins, and that was enough."

They got to know each other again. Each said what they went through while missing the other. And they went thru a range of emotions - the major one going from anger to passion. Harley railed Gus for leaving her but stopped and started showing some love. I guess she realized that: it doesn't matter anymore; Gus was tortured as much as she was; she should focus on being happy to have Gus back. And just like that, they were 'gettin' it on' on a blanket set up on the floor...shirts off, pants undone, kissing heavily...

Harley: "You know, while you were gone I couldn't breathe. It was like there was air in my lungs, but a bulldozer was pushing it down. Now I can finally breathe again."
Gus: "Well, that's a good thing. Because that will enable me to take your breath away."

Too bad they were interupted TWICE! Mallet just don't get it when Harley says she's fine and can take care of herself. Good thing she got him to leave. Then GusH talked some more, in which you could see that they weren't nervous anymore, and picked up where they left off...

Harley: "You have no idea the stuff you've missed since you've been gone. But right now...all I see is you."
Gus: "Is that right?"
Harley: "All I want is you."

And then the most beautiful love scene shined before our very eyes. Can't say it was the best GusH love scene, but I'm pleased with what we got. Their weding song, "There You Are" by Martina McBride, played, which makes the song even more special. GusH went slow, re-discovering each other and being careful with Gus's leg. And slow is very sexy... My favorite parts are: Harley kissing Gus's neck, Gus kissing Harley's back & neck, and Gus unhooking Harley's bra & slipping the straps off her shoulders. So, yes, of course the hottest parts are also the best parts.

The afterglow was even better since they were obviously quite familiar with one another again. Afterglows are just as wonderful as love scenes; it's always great to see Gus and Harley under sheets knowing they're naked and they just made love. This particular time was their sweetest yet! Harley told Gus about Valentine's Day (see 'A Valentine's To Remember' entry) and said it would be great to "go back and undo everything we messed up". But Gus, being the romantic that he is, said, "I think we should concentrate on the here and now." And the "here and now" meant being together and loving each other...

Harley: "Welcome home, Aitoro."
Gus: "It's good to be home. It's good."
Harley: "I love you."
Gus: "You do? I love you, too."

*BIG SIGH* Best GusH reunion EVER!!! And actually, I think it's their only reunion. If it's not, then it is certainly their most important. :)

Check out the wallpaper I made for the occasion: