STUCK In Agony & Love

The Aitoro's marriage has fallen apart, and we fans are at a place we never thought we'd be. For once, exes proved too much of an outside force to handle.

As all GusHers know, Gus & Harley grew further and further apart as they kept spending time with their exes. Then thanks to Alan and Dylan, Gus believed his wife slept with Dylan. And he did the unthinkable. No one, including Harley, ever thought he'd cheat on his wife, who he has been unconditionally devoted to for the past six years. He slept with Natalia, his first love, who he never had closure with. After finding out about it, Harley left town for a while, and nothing further occurred between Gus and Natalia.

What a huge, awful mess!

Harley recently returned, and all hell of emotions broke loose in one wonderful episode...titled simply "Stuck". I'll try not to recap/summarize too much because if you're still reading this entry, you must be a GL viewer and/or a Gus & Harley fan who has already seen the episode.

"Stuck" was all about GusH sorting out their problems and figuring out their marriage. I thought Harley's return meant she was ready to face Gus and that she had time to think about everything and was prepared to be calm while hashing things out. But to my surprise she was still as angry as when she left and she wasn't ready to deal with Gus. Who would have thought that she came home to support her dad? I mean, of course she'd do that, but I wasn't expecting that to be her reason for returning.

Anyway, it took a while for GusH to be alone and start talking, but they both confessed they missed each other. Of course they did even if one of them didn't want to admit it. There was so much hurt in their eyes - Harley was in emotional pain and Gus just wanted to get her alone to talk. It was easy to feel for both of them throughout the whole show.

The coolest part of the show is their conversation in the BATHROOM. You never see bathrooms on soap operas! It was great to actually see one! And of course GusH would be ones in it because they are given the most realistic things/situations since they are the most real & natural couple on daytime. How funny it was...Harley throwing rolls of toilet paper at him. And kudos to the camera guys because there was a real mirror there, so they had to make sure their & the cameras' reflections couldn't be seen.

The bathroom scenes contained the true fighting of the episode. Harley told Gus she never slept with Dylan, and guilt washed over his whole face. He should be an emotional wreck after finding that out. And the fight became about him and Natalia as Harley's face had hurt written all over it. So sad. He tried explaining it as she ousted her disbelief and asked why he went to Natalia instead of coming to her. Eventually they had to leave the bathroom, but their words render very movingly clear.

Gus: But you are my soulmate. You are my heart. You know this.
Harley: I don't know what I am anymore.

.................

Harley: I never thought that you could do this. You have always been so devoted to me and so loyal to me.
Gus: I still am. I still am.
Harley: No, you're not. You would have had faith. You would have had faith and you would have come to me instead of conveniently believing that worst so that you would have an excuse to go to her. Now look where we are.

Gus & Harley made it home, still in discussion, and what a sweet surprise the kids had when they walked inside. They have such wonderful children, don't they? How nice that GusH recieved an anniversary celebration! I loved the banner! GusH have been married two years, and the boys remember that day just as well as they do. It was fun for them all to reminisce, making fans like me do the same. Having the wedding album and telling Daisy & Rafe about that day was sweet. A perfect little family moment. I wish I could see that wedding album, but I kind of have me own on my laptop.

The best line of that moment -
Harley: I never had second thoughts.

After getting the boys to bed, Harley and Gus talked outside and reminisced on their own, which is the best yet saddest part of the entire episode. I cried through it all, but it was good because their wedding was a huge moment of their life together. I'm so glad they had an anniversary celebration and of how much was remembered. So sweet!

Gus: What I remember most about that day was when you walked down the aisle, you said something. You said something to me. I don't think I've ever been happier than the moment I heard that word, "Hi." And I especially remember it because that's the moment that I put this ring on your finger.

Harley: And it was the first time we kissed as husband and wife. I remember that kiss. I had kissed you a million times before, but I remember that kiss because... Because it was sacred. My heart was pounding and I was... I was dizzy and I guess I was so happy and overwhelmed.

That's what's so beautiful - Gus being touched by a simple "hi" and Harley remembering that kiss despite how many kisses they've shared. It was so obvious...their love for each other on that special day and during their reminiscing. At that moment they didn't want to fight anymore and they promised to try to make their marriage work and get back the closeness they've lost. If only it had worked...

In bed was when the agony came through. Day after day they tried making it work, but at night is when you could see that it wasn't working. Such tragedy and disappointment. Harley couldn't let him be close to her without thinking of Natalia. Hence, there was much distance between them in bed, and you saw no kissing or touching. She still isn't over what he did; it still haunted her on the inside as much as she probably tried to push it aside. And throughout those days, Harley was sad because of it while Gus was hurting just as much because he wanted to move on & be close to her but couldn't. As much as they love each other, there's so much agony in both of them. And the kids sensed the tension and knew they were fighting.

Thus, the descision made was to take a break.

That's when the funniest part of the episode came...sending the boys off to another day of camp - the jar of alien soil and Gus pretending to be "Gusenstein". HAHA! Loved it! There's always something funny when those adorable boys are around. But Gus left afterwards, which wasn't as heartbreaking as I thought it'd be. It was a silent goodbye, for they expect their separation to merely be temporary. But we'll see, won't we...

A break brings hope to me and other fans. A break means they are not through with each other; their marriage is not over. A break indicates some time to heal and miss each other and realize how much they really love each other. But it is quite a complicated situation. GusH have their own inner demons going on. Gus is struggling between two women. He loves his wife, and he wants to make things right with her. But there is a pull towards Natalia; I'm sure he has some unresolved feelings for her. Meanwhile, Harley struggles with the pain of her husband cheating on her with his first love, and she needs time to heal that wound. I think they need to handle their individual conflicts before they can truly repair their relationship and reunite.

But we'll see what happen next. And as we wait & watch, we can choose whose side we're on. Personally, I want Gus & Harley's marriage to survive and I'm on Harley's side. Natalia is a huge threat and the enemy; I don't want her anywhere near Gus. I root for Harley and whatever she decides for her future and life with Gus.

Happy 2nd Anniversary, Gus & Harley Aitoro!

Congrats to Guiding Light!!

On The Run

This is the one that told/showed me that I am officially great at wallpaper-making. This one proved I was good. This is really when my wallpaper-making craze began - two years ago.

In June 2005 Gus and Harley went on the run together. She was in prison for something she didn't do. She busted out, and Gus found her. They set out to leave town, but first they stumbled into buying a safe vehicle - an ice cream truck. They needed some food and approached it just to buy a cone and a bar. But Gus had lots of cash, and they ended up buying the whole truck, which was FULL of ice cream for them. It was quite a fun episode; they had some great moments eating ice cream and kissing in the truck.

So, I just had to make a wallpaper featuring both the eating and the kissing. One was cute while the other was hot. Harley never got her Fudge Dream bar, so Gus shared his cookie crunch cone with her. She didn't want it, but he gave it to her anyway. And she said it was good. The kissing... I could have made a whole wallpaper of the kissing. It was SO good! They could have had sex right there on the floor of the truck. But no such luck. Who knows what they did during their drive from Springfield to New York City, though. Hehe!

The pictures say it all, but... The background is brown to represent Harley's Fudge Dream bar that she never got. The text is from Sarah Mclachlan's "Ice Cream" - the perfect song for this episode. It says that the kissing is better than the ice cream, and it's probably true. Harley would take Gus's kisses over his ice cream any day. Yum!

Imagine This

Polyandry is where a woman has multiple husbands. It is a dying practice found only in small villages of the Himalayas. I recently watched a short video on the National Geographic podcast about it. It featured one woman with three husbands - all brothers! And she had children to raise with them. It seemed to be a nice, comfortable family unit and way of life.

So, can you imagine Harley being married to Alan-Michael, Phillip, and Gus at the same time while still raising her children? Wow, would that be something!

First of all, forget about Daisy (and now Rafe). Imagine she never returned and is still at boarding school. She would cause so much trouble that the situation wouldn't be funny. Her drama would take away from the zanyness of the polyandry.

Second, picture this scenario at Harley's old house, obviously not burned down. The house she currently resides in is her home with Gus. It's strictly GusH. So, since polyandry involves multiple men, it should happen in her previous home where she has gone through a few relationships as well as singlehood. If you don't know the house, search the internet for videos and pictures of Harley. Chances are you'll find the house somewhere; it has an Arizona theme.

Also imagine a much nicer Phillip - the way he was when he and Harley were a couple.

Now let us take a peak into Harley's polyandry lifestyle...

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Harley walks into her house after an extra-long day at work. She hangs up her jacket and plops her purse on the coffee table. She smiles at Alan-Michael and sits next to him on the couch.

H: Hi, honey.

Alan-Michael smiles back as he folds up his newspaper. He sets it on the coffee table, leans in close to her, and kisses her.

AM: Hi. How was your day?

H: Long. Too long.

She rests her head on his shoulder, sighing as he wraps an arm around her.

AM: Were you working on a big case?

H: No. The day just really dragged on. I'm glad to be home even though I am home a little late. How was your day at the office?

AM: My meeting went well. We're making more money.

H: That doesn't surprise me. Phillip was a part of it, right?

AM: Yes, of course, Harley. Just because I'm the head of Spaulding does not mean I'm shutting Phillip out of the company.

H: I know. I'm just making sure.

AM: You can stop, okay? Don't worry. I will always include Phillip even though he doesn't care as much about the company as I do.

Harley smiles again and lifts her head up.

H: So, where are my boys?

AM: Rick picked Jude up already.

H: I figured that, since I'm home late.

AM: Rick stayed a little while, but I told him I didn't know when you'd be home. Zach is upstairs with Phillip. And we ate already, by the way.

H: Okay. I'll have to find some dinner for myself. I wonder if Gus is eating at work.

AM: Sorry we didn't save you and Gus anything. We made it a guys night kinda thing with Zach being a man in training. Phillip and I made it fun for him.

H: That's good. Dinner isn't always fun for children.

Phillip comes down the stairs holding Zach over his shoulders.

P: Yes. That's why this dinner was fun, right, Zach?

Z: Yep! Hi, Mommy!

Harley stands up as Phillip makes his way over to her. She smiles as she takes Zach into her arms.

H: Hi, sweetie! Oh, you're getting way too big. I don't think I can hold you anymore.

She gives him a huge hug before setting him down quickly.

H: And you're already in your PJs? That's great.

She kisses his head before he jump onto the couch. She and Phillip grin at him before turning to each other.

H: Hey.

P: Hi, honey.

Harley throws her arms around him, and they share a quick, sweet kiss. He sets his hands on her waist as they share another kiss. He leads her to the other couch, and she sits down on his lap with his arms around her.

H: All I'm gonna say is I'm glad to be home.

P: I'm glad you're home too.

Z: Me too!

P: Hey, champ, why don't you go to the kitchen and have a cookie?

Zach looks at Harley.

Z: Can I?

H: Sure, honey.

Zach hurries away to the kitchen.

P: Today was too long.

H: I agree. And Gus is still working. I guess it's a long day for everyone, huh?

P: Yeah. It's really nice having you home.

He holds her tighter, and she smiles.

H: You do remember that tonight is not your night, right?

P: Yes, I remember that tonight is Gus's night to be with you. That's why I'm holding you right now since Gus isn't home yet.

AM: Yeah, have her while you can, Phillip.

Harley rolls her eyes but doesn't mind being between three guys.

H: You two are something else. And I'm surprised Gus isn't home yet.

P: Let's not even talk about him.

He kisses her cheek, and she laughs. Just then Zach comes rushing back with a cookie in his hand.

Z: I had my cookie. This one is for you, Mommy.

She takes the cookie from him, smiling.

H: Thank you, sweetie.

She watches him run to the stairs.

Z: Uncle Alan-Michael, could you play with me please?

AM: Of course.

Zach bounds up the stairs as Alan-Michael gets up to follow him.

AM: Phillip, don't have too much fun with her.

H: Love you, Alan-Michael.

AM: Love you too, and don't you forget that.

He disappears up the stairs, chasing Zach down the hallway to his room.

H: I think he might be jealous. You're all over me right now.

P: Yes, I am. Tough for him.

H: But I'm sure Gus will be home soon.

Phillip turns her cheek and plants a huge kiss on her lips. She melts just a little before he breaks away.

H: You're sweet.

They both smile. Then they hear a car pulling up.

P: That must be Gus.

H: Phillip, don't sound too disappointed.

Phillip shakes his head.

P: I'm not. Really, I'm not.

H: I love you. You know that.

Phillip smiles.

P: I know. I love you too.

He smiles at her, and she stands up just as Gus walks through the front door.

G: Hey! Give me some love.

He holds one of his arms, and she scurries straight to him. They kiss, and his arm goes around her. He rubs her back a little as they hug.

H: Hi. Long day, huh?

G: You got that right. Have you eaten?

Harley pulls back.

H: No. Have you?

Gus nods his head.
G: No.

They both laugh, and he reveals a bag in his other hand.

G: Dinner.

H: What a lifesaver!

She kisses him, and it's after she pulls away that Gus notices Phillip on the couch.

G: Hey there, Phil. How was your day?

P: It felt as long as yours was.

G: Rough.

P: But your day really was long.

G: God yeah, and I need some relaxing.

He looks at Harley with a lustful twinkle in his eyes.

Harley keeps looking at Gus.

H: Phillip, you can get Zach to bed, right?

Phillip gets up, understanding the hints.

P: Yes, I will. I'll tell him how tired Gus is and that Gus needs Mommy right now. He'll be alright.

Harley turns around, and Gus wraps an arm around her.

H: Yeah, he's growing up so much. He doesn't need me all the time. He'll be fine.

P: Enjoy your night, Harley.

H: Nite, Phillip.

She blows him a kiss as he makes his way up the stairs, leaving her all alone with Gus.

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TO BE CONTINUED!

One Emmy Night

This one is what I consider to be my first brilliant, professional-looking wallpaper. This seems way better than my previous wallpapers, and I wasn't experimenting with anything. I just made it to have it and celebrate the Emmy occasion...

For the 2005 Daytime Emmys there was an online award voted on by the fans - the Most Irresistible Combination. There was a couple nominated from each show featuring a video clip to see what made them so irresitible. Every fan could vote all day every day up until the winner was announced. Us GusHers worked hard and voted our buts off. But I had huge doubts that GusH would win; they were up against couples from the popular soap operas. And I didn't even think there would be an actual envelope and award at the ceremony. I thought the winner would just be announced. Boy, was I completely wrong!

Never underestimate the GusH fans because our voting paid off. It was down to three couples, and Gus & Harley were named the Most Irresitible Combination. The song "Simply Irresistible" played as Ricky and Beth went up to accept their special glass award. And they did not expect to win either. They were so stunned that their speech was...quite unique. But it was a proud night for GusHers.

This wallpaper came around after downloading pictures of the wonderful moment. I wanted the four best ones together in a simple wallpaper. I made that purple background design first. It's actually just a sloppy mess from before I knew how the wallpaper should look. But it looks nice behind the pictures. I don't remember how I made that white circle, though, but doesn't it look so cool? And 'Simply Irresistible' had to go in the center of it. Nothing else would have fit; it had to be that phrase.

This marks my first simple yet beautiful wallpaper. It was easy to create. And looking at now always brings me back to that amazing moment.

In Depth Looks

I figured along with providing a link to my wallpapers I'll also write a little about them.

My very first GusH wallpaper is not available at the moment, so I'll share that one at a later date. Till then...there are plenty of wallpapers to enjoy. Some I won't write about for whatever reason, but most will be featured.

Let's start with number one, which is really number two...


I'm not sure when I made this one, but it's still one of my early wallpapers. It's not bad, though.

Ricky and Beth portray Gus and Harley of course, and they tend to kiss at events and appearances. They've never been romantically involved (she's married), but they are best friends. They kiss for the fans, and sometimes fans request them to kiss. They don't seem to mind; they probably enjoy it. Sometimes they kiss more than once, and their characters kiss all the time.

And since there have been several kisses over the years, I wanted them in one place. Thus, I created this wallpaper.

The pictures here aren't my personal photos; I've never met or seen Ricky and Beth. Luckily other people have, or at least have had photo opportunities. These pictures are from five different occasions: two personal appearances, two Daytime Emmy ceremonies, and one fan club luncheon. They started sharing kisses backstage at the Emmys all on their own for some reason, maybe to please the fans. The Guiding Light luncheon occurs annually, and their tables have always been together. The one thing to look forward to, whether attending or not, is them kissing.

Why is Ricky and Beth kissing so good? Because they have just as much chemistry off-screen as they do on-screen in character.

The phrase in the upper corner comes from a Whitney Houston/Enrigue Iglesias duet - "Could I Have This Kiss Forever". The song probably doesn't fit Ricky and Beth, but it seemed like a good inspiration. So, I came up with my little phrase; it's charming.

Now, I will tell you my favorite of all those kisses...the one in the upper center of the wallpaper - his hand on her face, and her hand touching his. There's just something so sweet and innocent about that one.

More wallpaper comments to come!

One Hobby

GusH is my fulltime hobby. I think about them all the time. They are the inspiration for and the source of my creativity. Without them my life and hobbies would be too simple. Not many ideas would come to me.

One hobby of mine is creating wallpapers for computer desktops. Nearly two years ago I discovered how good I am at creating them, and I've made numerous GusH ones. They're not always easy; it takes time and patience to make one. But it's fun, and I enjoy making them for fellow fans.

Allow me to share all of them with you here:

GusH Wallpaper Album

There are three pages worth.

I don't have favorites because I'm proud of each one.
Hope you like them.